Blog Archives

In Its Infancy: Secrets of Grindea

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Do want.

I highly recommend anyone with even the slightest shred of love for the Secret of Mana to download the demo for  Secrets of Grindea. Read the rest of this entry

Editorial: Why Yandere Simulator Wins The Internet

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It has it all. Girls. Girls in skirts. Panty shots. Obsessive love-behavior. Effeminate guys. Blood. Murder. Guitar cases.

If you haven’t heard of Yandere Simulator, you might be a well-balanced contributor to society. If you have, chances are you’re a YouTube gaming aficionado. Either way, allow me to explain to you why this pre-alpha freak show may be the most interesting spin on a genre since Saints Row 2 turned the GTA-clone subgenre into comedy gold.

I mean no exaggeration.

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Video: Manos, The Hands of Fate

So Manos: The Hands of Fate, Director’s Cut doesn’t suck, exactly. It simply suffers from Battletoads’ “Turbo Tunnel Syndrome” after a while. Check out the video!

Editorial: Newgrounds vs. Greenlight

Metal Gear Awesome from Newgrounds.com

Metal Gear Awesome from Newgrounds.com

num XXX[10] = 000, 001, 002, 003, 004, 005, 006,  007, 008, 009, 010

num yearUserIsThinkingAbout

string newGrounds = “Amazing and useful!”

string steamGreenlight = “Absolute Shit!”

string userFavoriteScumlordDev

start

input yearUserIsThinkingAbout

output “The year was 2”, XXX[yearUserIsThinkingAbout], “. A thriving community of Flash artists and amateur game designers found their home at a website called www.newgrounds.com.”

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Editorial: Five Nights at Freddy’s eats/saves children, apparently

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If ever you’d like to see the nature of Internet commenting and issue-camping displayed in micro, I suggest looking up any YouTube video about the jumpscare-ridden furryfest that is Five Nights at Freddy’s.

Never have I seen such a polarized set of camps. Those who adore the screeching animatronic killers do so with cultish resolve; those who profess hatred for the Fazbear franchise dismiss it outright with such ivory tower condescension one can nearly hear the clink of their high-society wine glasses. Read the rest of this entry

Gather ‘Round And Marvel At: Being Her Darkest Friend

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At times obtuse, an entry worth your while

I can’t breathe. It’s dark. My eyelids, my eyes won’t open. There’s a tapping, muffled, somewhere not so far away but my jaw has clamped unbearably tight, so tight my teeth tremble and ache.

I can hear crackling, something dusty plinking off something dirty. Tap, tap, tap. I don’t know if I’m alive, dead or in between. The shadows saturate my skin, my hair, my fingertips. Tap, crack, crack.

Is light coming? Or are my eyes dying?

I knew precious little of what to expect from Chronerion‘s “Being Her Darkest Friend” when I snagged it from Gamejolt. Going in, I made a conscious choice to avoid reading the blurb and anything that might tell me more than I wanted to know up front.

Unfortunately, my attempt to maintain the purity of the experience created an interesting hang-up: I had no idea this game was a successor to Chronerion’s previous effort,A Fragment of Her“, until after I popped back over to the developer’s GameJolt page to grab some hyperlinks.

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In Its Infancy: CrossCode

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A clatter of footfalls pounds out tonight’s frantic beat, whipping up the will o’ the wisps with their cornsilk blue auras and twinkling trails. I’m running harder than ever before, stabbing through the looming night, rushing, racing. My headset sizzles with the static of unwanted chatter.

I can’t stop to answer. I can’t hesitate, even when the chatter clears and that person’s voice bleeds into my ears. No matter what he saysdespite the glimmering clatter of sentry bots grinding gears in anticipation, I don’t have a spare breath to waste. His life depends on me.

Thus we are introduced to the alpha demo of CrossCode, a retro-styled action-RPG by developer Radical Fish Games that’s one part Secret of Mana and two parts Sword Art Online. The project has been through the IndieGogo wringer already and seems to have a supportive following, which is fortunate because CrossCode is totally worth following.

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In Its Infancy: Masochisia

Welcome to Masochisia, where the title is but tangentially related to the proceedings.

Welcome to Masochisia, where the title is but tangentially related to the proceedings.

I awake to the gentle creaking of old, wooden planks. Dust flecks flicker across a single beam of sunlight creeping between the boards. My surroundings aren’t instantly familiar, faced as I am with an ancient, locked door, but the ramshackle support beams and piles of refuse tell me it’s not somewhere I want to stay. My eyes wander, left to right, taking in the dirt-floor details of what appears to be a garden shed around me.

A voice speaks to me, but it seems I am alone. Am I?

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Gather Round and Marvel At: The Black Heart

Prepare for a nightmare world of kickass.

Prepare for a nightmare world of kickass.

A moment ago, I leapt into the air with a graceful flutter kick, giggled like a car crash as I burst from male to female in a plume of black smoke and highwire-walked a buzzsaw directly into the heart of a carnivorous worm the size of a polar bear.

That’s nothing unusual in the world of The Black Heart, an independently-developed 2-D fighter created via the M.U.G.E.N. engine by designer Andrés Borghi.  With modern AAA industry fighting games growing rare, leaning toward ultra-realistic visuals and complex combos, this free download presents instead a distinct, horror-themed art style and a simple-but-versatile combat system that charms through all the little details.

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